well rounded

Yesterday, I ran into an 18-year-old boy in the store. Yes, I said 'boy.' He was so friendly and chatty. He played peek-a-boo with N and talked easily with me about shopping for his first week at college - even teasing asking if he had too many bags of chips. 

As a mom, I couldn't help but wonder if I'll raise a son as friendly and open. 

As a mom, I flashed 17 years into the future and wondered if N will be out buying junk food for his first week of college. 

As a mom, I felt a little sad after our interactions with this sociable stranger. I know the years getting us to that mark will be filled with joy and trials and good times and bad times. But, it was like a crashing revelation that the purpose of our years together with N are for that intention: to raise him to be an adult and sustain on his own. 

Some part of me felt silly to think about it when our baby is only 18 months old. But, that's how it goes, right? You merely blink and suddenly you're sending them to college.

I just love this little person so much that it made me feel a bit sad for the days in our future when he won't be so dependent on us. Not that I want him to be dependent, of course. I want him to be well rounded, responsible, mature, able. 

But, I also just want him to be my baby forever. 

[sigh]