The people in that neighborhood never fail to amaze me

Today I got a message from my realtor saying that she had received an angry, screaming voicemail from one of our neighbors claiming that we'd run over their fence with our lawn mower and they wanted us to replace it. Interesting, considering we don't mow it. But, we have a lawn service who does. I was angry just because he'd called and left a message like that for our realtor. I go over there with every intention of finding his fence flipped over laying on its side. In fact, I'd told myself that had better be the case since this man was behaving in such a dramatic manner. I get over there and actually do some cleaning before even going to look outside. Once I got to the back door and saw the fence still standing I was immediately skeptical. I step out onto the deck and started walking down the stairs for a closer examination. It appeared fine. I touched it gently expecting it to collapse if I breathed on it too hard, but nothing. It was fine. I ran my hand all the way across the top railing as I walked the full length of the fence just waiting to run across the weak link and it fall over. Again, nothing. I even inspected the fence that runs across the back of his yard, even though there'd be no way our lawn service people would have damaged it there. Still, nothing. I tried to call the realtor and wasn't able to get ahold of her. I decided to just go knock on the door. After three short knocks, I waited only a few seconds before a man answered the door. A large man. He is a white man, with dark hair and eyes, he's only a few inches taller than me. He must have some sort of problems with his eyes because one of them only moves ever so often while the other seems to move uncontrollably. It's somewhat creepy. I told him who I was and that I'd received a message from my realtor from his claim that we'd run over his fence with a lawn mower. I then explained that we have a lawn service who comes and mows our lawn every other week. "Yeah, yeah. This morning they ran over a piece of my fencing" he responds. "Yes. That's what I heard. I just inspected your fencing myself and I didn't see any damage. Do you care to show me what has happened?" He shakes his head and starts to hobble down his stairs to the sidewalk and then we walked the short distance over the my stairs, I'm assuming climbing the hill was a bit much for him. By the time we get to his gate he's already sweating profusely. He fumbles through a ring of keys before deciding on the correct one. Then jiggles into the padlock. When the gate opens he takes two steps in and reaches down and grabs a small, black object. He holds his hand above his head as he dangles this black, wire, 'fence' maybe a foot tall and maybe 3 feet long in front of him that has one end that is...bent. I had to hold back a giggle. I mean sure, sure it's a piece of wire that you own and it is in fact bent. But it's value is maybe $10. And you called my realtor and screamed at her over it and you want my lawn service people to file a claim over it? "Ah...I see..." was all that I was able to choke out. "Yeah, it was laying right here" he gestured with his hand to the side of his house, "and my water hose was laying out here too. I'm surprised they didn't run it over." "So, then, my lawn service people have been mowing the front yard all the way over to your house?" I asked. If it were true it would mean that my lawn people were mowing about a quarter of his front yard. "Yeah, that's what they do. They do it with a ridin' mower too. They should really just use a push mower because of this little tree." he pointed to it "It must be hard to get around." "Uh-huh..." I trailed off wondering what he wanted me to do. "Well, I could just pay you for that. How much are you expecting to be reimbursed?" I said. "$20...$25" he replied. That dinky piece of wire is not $25. I could go and buy him a new piece from Lowes and probably keep it under $10. Not to mention it clearly wasn't serving a purpose since it was just laid out to the side of his house with no other pieces and no obvious cause. I'm not trying to undermine property value here, I'm just saying...he was acting like someone had ran over his dog and left severed pieces of it throughout the yard. My hesitation must have had him trying to guess my thoughts. "I mean, I just felt like you needed to know what's going on here. This is what's happening." he said with great seriousness. "Sure, sure. Ummm...I guess I'll call the lawn service and first I'll make sure they understand where my property line is and then I'll explain the...situation." "Oh, well I don't mind for them to mow it. It saves me time and work." He said with a mocking laugh. So, let me get this right. My lawn service people having been mowing some of your front yard and accidentally ran over a piece of wire that you own, you've called and left angry voicemails over it, you're standing here talking to me about it with this much seriousness, you want me to call them, and you want them to file a claim...but sure, sure...let's have them keep on mowing your half of the yard here?! I was fighting not to spit all of that out in a much too sarcastic way. I was almost speechless. More or less. I was afraid to speak for what might come out and I didn't want to mock him...to his face. "Alright, well...I'm just going to call and let them know and see what they want to do about it. I'm perfectly fine with going and buying you a new piece of..wir...I mean...fencing, but since they are responsible I'll let them know and then I'll get back to you." The conversation then dwindled into awkward small talk and finally a 'good-bye.' I called both Cory and our realtor with a frustrated, humored explanation. Hmmm...I wonder what the lawn service people will say...