when satan steals your motherhood

The link I'm about to share has some things in it that I usually roll my eyes at. Today, though, the Lord knew there was something in there for me. 

The little one has been testing my patients quite a lot since our most recent MO trip.

Like, repeatedly throwing food in the floor. Not in the way where there is aimless flailing and food just happens to end up on the floor. The kind where he picks up a piece, stares you straight in the eyes so that he knows you see, slowly stretches his arm out beyond the tray, and purposefully drops it. 

Like, stomping those little feet and flailing those arms while screaming because, well, no, Son, you can't get into the trash can. 

Like, getting into the dog's water for the millionth time and soaking his pants.

Like, shaking his head 'no,' something I wish he did not already know how to do. 

Or whining. So much whining.

Today, I found myself sighing too much. I found myself battling much more over actively ignoring the food being tossed in the floor, or giving a mild hand pop. I caught that my tone was a bit too stern over the spilled water. I, in great detail, remember almost swatting his behind over the stomping feet. 

So, when I read this post: When Satan Steals Your Motherhood I found it to be quite refreshing. 

Now, I did just point out all the negatives of the day. It's easy to do that, for some reason. But, we also had the funnest time with hide and seek. We went outside to feed the ducks and N giggled as we tossed them bread crumbs. He had a hysterical bout of laughter over daddy getting his feet. He pointed to all my facial features, like it was the funnest game ever. He generously kept sharing his snack with me. He brought me his blanky, so that I could hold him with it and cuddle. 

My day is filled with joy, yet sometimes that gets lost in these moments of frustration. And it's not because the frustration outweighs the peace, it's because I lower my guard and let my soul's enemy take root with the circumstances that bring the frustration.

So, yes, refreshing is exactly the right word for what that post meant to me. I hope I can hold those words close to my heart, and remember them the next time I'm being caught in a weak moment.