Note to anyone who is or is wanting to sell a house

BURN IT DOWN INSTEAD!

I suppose our inspection report could have been worse. I guess the buyers could have asked for much more. However, when they sent us their requests per inspection report:

• Fix trouble shoot/repair air conditioner (the AC isn't broken, it wasn't TURNED ON - douche-bag inspector)
• Repair leaking drain pipe from bathroom shower (fair enough)
• Replace cover over open junction box that leaves wires exposed in basement (swear, inspector was on crack - there isn't an open junction box in the basement)
• Fix loose railing on front porch (alright, we can do that)
• Fix torn window screens
• Replace screens on windows where there are none (the only windows without screens are the basement windows... and they don't even open)
• Ground all outlets (impossible, house is too old)
• Ground all exterior outlets (yes, this is somehow different from "ground ALL outlets")
• Replace outlets within 6 feet of bathroom and kitchen sink to GCFI outlets (psshh, whatever)

I was quite flustered. 

Not necessarily because they were asking for these things, but because the things they were asking for seemed and bit nagging considering all we're already doing for the 'buyer.' 

So we sent them their requests back saying that we would fix:

• Fix trouble shoot/repair air conditioner (even though it wasn't broken)
• Repair leaking drain pipe from bathroom shower
• Replace cover over open junction box that leaves wires exposed in basement (even though it was non-existent)
• Fix loose railing on front porch

However, we found out yesterday that this wasn't good enough. No. Their co-agent sent our agent a text message saying, "This will not due. Your sellers need to fix the remaining requests on the list." My agent got a little snippy right back and said, "My sellers feel they have been more than flexible to meet your buyers needs. They already lowered their asking price, agreed to pay all of the buyers closing costs, and are fixing half of the things on the list." 

She asked me what I wanted to do. I said no. The answer is no because, yes, we did take less than our asking price; the answer is no, because we are paying all of your closing costs; the answer is no, because we are fixing some things on your lists; the answer is no, because not having a stupid GFCI outlet isn't going to cause that house to appraise for less than freaking $58,500; the answer is no, because the agent did get snippy with us; and the answer is no... because as the seller we have already done our part. I'm not acting like that house is some huge, fancy house that's worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm acting like that house is what it is. It's an old house in a crappy neighborhood that we've been trying to sell for two years. We are in debt because of it and we're going further in debt trying to sell it already. I've done more than I should have to for it to sell. 

I hate for it to be a deal breaker. In fact, I don't want to think about that at all but we can't do much more to sell this house. Literally, it is outside of the realm of possibility. Take it or leave it. Either way, it's not in my hands anymore and I have to accept that no matter what. 

ps  We have met the buyers 'accidentally' twice. They keep showing up over at the house in the evenings when we're over there working on it. They even already came and cut down some trees that their home owners insurance said needed to be cut. They brought over the piece to fix the railing - and offered to help actually fix it. They want this house bad. I really don't think it's the buyers being so ridiculous. I think it's their agent being a douche.

So here are your options:

1. You can take the current offer... as is
2. You can come and fix the remaining things on the list before you send in an appraiser yourself
3. We can rework our contract such that we don't pay for your closing costs and we'll fix the remaining things on the list