I don't know the meaning.

I thought I'd had a bad day. I thought I'd had a bad week.

I actually love when God does stuff to help me get things back in perspective. I love when He shows me things that make me appreciate my life and help me understand just how blessed I am. I just hate that such a horrible situation is what forced me to the understanding, that... I really don't know the meaning of a bad week.

While I was fretting about losing the job I was already quitting, and being deprived of the job I'd already been offered; I had other family members who were losing a father and a husband.

My Uncle D, got up and went to work on Monday. Like any other day. On Tuesday he was admitted to the hospital for abdomen pain. Early Wednesday morning he coded. His kidneys, liver, pancreas, and lungs all failed. His heart was still beating and his lungs were still breathing, but it was through the aide of medical technology.

He continued to crash several times over the next few days. Last night, we had finally received some hope when he was able to be stabilized. They were finally going to ship him out of the joke-of-a-medical-place in Poplar Bluff to Barnes in St. Louis. They said it would mean months in the hospital and a full recovery may not be possible. But, there was still hope.

They were still working to balance some of his blood levels and waiting for the wind to calm so that a helicopter could fly him out.

Through the early morning, though, his heart stopped beating numerous times. They worked to continue reviving his body, only to see it crash again and again. The family finally made the impossible decision to not have him revived should he crash another time.

He joined heaven's ranks this morning. However, that also means that he left us.

If you knew the family dynamic. If you knew the mere nature of his wife and children. It would break your heart. I can barely stand it at all.

He has left behind a wife and three children. His oldest son suffers from several health issues after fighting Lukemia as a young boy. His middle child, also a son, just finished school, just got married, just bought a house, just got a good job. From what I understand he was very close with his day. Then, his youngest, a daughter is in similar life moments. She also recently graduated, is married, just bought a house. She's also one of my cousins who I consider a best friend. So, though, I wasn't that close with my seeing someone who is close to be go through this is torturous. His wife, my aunt, is just one of the nicest, sweetest people in the world!

It's terrible. Pitiful. Awful.

I know these sorts of things happen every day. But, it's just so much harder than you imagine when you actually have to face it.

It is a cruel life, isn't it? Every ounce of hope they received made his death that much more difficult. Now, they've lost a dear loved-one and they are who has to plan his funeral. They are forced to make so many decisions and take so many actions right after such a devastating blow has struck them.

Alright, Lord, I need your comfort and peace. I'm so angry, I'm so sad, I'm so bitter. Bless our family with Your guidance and acceptance.

It truly has not been a good week.