setting the bar

I think our life is trying to set the new bar for terrible with us. 

So, I've got this infection going on and unfortunately it's not a foreign infection to me. I've had UTIs frequently throughout my life. I get them three or four times a year - at least. 

This one though, is a new record for pain. A new record for even my pain tolerance. 

Yesterday, my doc got me in and she couldn't believe that my symptoms had only started Thursday evening. She said it was bad and that if I'd even gone over the weekend without seeing her it probably would have meant hospitalization or even have spread to my kidneys. 

So, she gave me some pain medicine and an antibiotic and told me to come back and see her Monday if there wasn't noticeable improvement or if I felt worse. 

When I got back home around 3:30 I started downing the water. By about 5pm I had chugged my 32oz water bottle twice and a cup of orange juice - doc said the acid/citrus would help with infection and line my bladder walls. 

Regret. 

My poor, infected bladder couldn't cope with it well. I was peeing like every 15 minutes. Literally. I think one time between about 5pm and 11pm I made a 30 minute time frame without peeing - and that was holding it really hard. 

Why was I holding it? Because peeing made me scream and cry. I'd tell you what my pee consisted of, but you'd go vomit afterwards. It hurt so bad. And with the frequency of urination, it wasn't getting a break at all, which made it so much worse :(  Terrible, terrible night. It wasn't just peeing itself either - like it often is with me - my bladder was just burning and hurting non-stop. It was a new kind of suffering. 

I'm honestly considering it one of the worst physical pains I've experienced. Maybe that means I'm sheltered, or maybe that means memory doesn't serve me well. I don't know. I know breaking my pelvis was terrible. I was in pain for weeks and the very first week after was misery. But, this bladder pain is just… I don't know. It's the kind of pain that also induces rage inside of me because it's just so freaking annoying. 

I guess my body had finally cycled through all of those fluids because around 10:30 the urgency slowed. The hubs wanted me to drink more and - probably too stubbornly - I refused. 

I managed to shower and crawl back into bed and thankfully I passed out until morning. I was expecting a much rougher night. Maybe the exhaustion from the writhing and being in pain, in combination with the meds, just made for a good sleeping arrangement. 

Whew.

I am feeling so much better this morning. Thank You, Jesus! Still in a moderate amount of discomfort, but so much better.