Rejected

I went to see the lung specialist this morning. He was a really nice guy. I loved him. He is taking me off the steroids too! Finally, I found a doctor that hates the meds as much as I appear to. He basically just said I had been on ridiculously high doses for a long amount of time and they clearly weren't working. So I was just reaping all of the bad side effects and the medicine wasn't doing anything for my lungs like it was intended to. He was concerned with my last chest x-ray report, however, my other doctor hadn't sent the actual x-ray. So he is ordering another chest x-ray and he also wants a Pulmonary Function Test (PFT) done. This isn't the greatest news, because I don't have insurance. I mean, I can get the x-ray from Cape Imaging for like $40 - clearly not a big deal. However, apparently only the two hospitals here do the kind of PFT that this doc has ordered... and at Southeast it was $2100 and at St. Francis is was $1000. Not cool. Still doable, but totally not cool. So I'm probably going to do some shopping around on that.

He said we are going to drastically increase my intake of steroid-based inhalers. He assured me that my body wouldn't have the side effects from them like it did from the steroid pill/IV stuff. So I agreed. He also gave me a new inhaler that is so weird. It's this little pill that fits into this little disk like thing, then you squeeze a button on the side of it that punctures the pill and then you inhale the medicine that's inside. Crazy. It wasn't that bad though. I mean, it didn't like taste bad or anything at least. And it worked almost immediately. It was eery. My chest was quite literally immediately looser after I sucked that stuff down. We're sticking to breathing treatments every 4-6 hours and then the Proair and the Xopenex inhaler as needed (they are just quick relief inhalers).

He's weaning me completely off the steroids by the end of this week!! I'm stoked. I'm even more stoked for my face swelling to go down! I'm still happy to say that I haven't gained any weight back since my lack of Insanity and intake of steroids. So... I'll be happy to look like I haven't gained any of it back, lol. Still no Insanity though :(   Only 'light' forms of exercise. I'm getting so out of shape it's crazy. However, when I whined about it today my new doc said he thought it had more to do with my lungs being crazy inflamed and full of junk than my fitness level. *sigh*  He was also concerned by the fact that I've been this sick since May. He couldn't believe how bad I was wheezing. It made him concerned about the amount of lung inflammation I must have and by the fact that it's been consistent for several months now. He agreed that we have to get it down. But, he's waiting on the new chest x-ray before making too many judgements about lung inflammation and stuff. 

The bad news about today is that the dreaded, yet expected rejection letter for state job arrived today. :'(

It was much harsher than my previous one too. Instead of being like, "We thank you for your interest in the position, however, we've chosen to go with another candidate" it was more like, "YOU WERE NOT CHOSEN FOR THIS JOB." Blah... blah... blah. 

I was really sad. Mainly just because it was like another hit to the unemployment lobe in my mind. I've been actively trying to get a job for quite some time. I've applied to like 6 or 7 jobs in my field... and I've received nothing.  

I honestly think I'm good at what I do and it seems so crazy to me that I haven't had any luck yet. I mean, how am I suppose to start getting experience if no one wants to hire the 'unexperienced?' I told Cory I'm just going to start collecting my rejection letters. :(

So... tomorrow I'm probably going to buckle down on getting the FS stuff going again. I re-contacted the director again and I'm still good for becoming a provider as soon as I get the professional liability insurance. I'm also thinking I'll go talk to the photographer that told me to come talk to him about a job. I think I'd really like to take my photography interest to a professional level. And, I'll of course keep looking for other more 'permanent / full-time' employment in my area. Heck, I'll just bounce around until I find something that fits me. I have nothing else to do. *sigh*