Broken hopes

After filtering through a list of emotions / feelings I've decided to just go with 'yeah right' for the accomplishment of all my 'hopes and dreams.'

There are so many things I want to do in life. Things that I really, really want to do. I tried prioritizing them, I tried listing them in order of 'realistic' goals, I've tried blabbing to anyone and everyone, I've tried obsessing about them in hopes that all of this would somehow make them come true. Of course, it never did.

I've had multiple 'business' ideas that I made detailed plans for, budgets, even wrote a grant for one! I went on a sell-everything-I-own-and-live-in-a-tiny-house kick. I have fanatical bouts of excessively feeling like I should go back to school to find something, anything that I might enjoy doing or be good at - like being an Orca trainer and really going for it. I talk about moving all the time. Traveling the world a bit before I settle down. Then, I have the random spouts of baby-fever that leave me really yearning to be a mommy now - forgetting about everything else and just going ahead and settling down.

All of these things - and many others - have been exciting fads in my life. I dream about them, I plan for them, I talk about them... but then... they never happen. Many of these things I'd still love to do. So, the big obvious question hit me in the face: why not?

I am child free. My husband and I are both graduated from college. We have nothing huge stopping us. Of course, any of the moving bits would require us to sell our house. Alright, so, let's get on it. Let's do it! Let's start taking the baby steps to go on a fun adventure! I'm not saying we should irresponsibly rush into anything just because we want to do it. Moving isn't a light thing. It's a big one. It's a big, expensive one. There are so many things that we'd need to line up and take into consideration. Things like: all of our stuff, the cost of living in other locations, and - of course - replaced income. Oh, yeah, and my business.

I think sometimes the changes of something new are what keep you from doing it. I don't want to look back on my life and have it filled with regrets. I know that's - in a way - inevitable. There will always be regrets. Always. But, I think I have the ability and resources to prevent some things from turning into regrets. Or, very possibly, the ability to turn things into regrets that I'm not even considering yet. I think I'd like it that way better though. I'd rather have my life filled with regrets from taking risks and going on adventures than filled with the regrets of never having tried any.