I'm never mowing again

Before yesterday, if I had seen a neighbor who was mowing their grass suddenly start screaming after being bitten by a snake, start running away - still pushing the mower, only to step in a giant stupid crawfish hole and smack their face on a tree limb before tumbling to the ground... I would have without doubt burst into laughter. Before yesterday.

However, I no longer find that scenario hilarious since it happened to me.

True story.

First, I decided to mow the grass in the middle of the flipping day during a heat advisory. My logic on this was to complete the task before the evening so the hubby wouldn't come home from working all day and then mow the grass.

Several months ago the hubs started a stupid compost pile, that I was completely against because I knew that he wouldn't keep up with it. So when I rounded the corner to mow behind the shed I thought that I did see a garter snake, but I also thought it slithered its way under the shed. So when I passed the compost pile and it struck at me... twice. It freaked me out. I screamed loudly. Instead of just leaving the mower and getting out of the way quickly, I had to take off running with the lawn mower. However, I was still looking behind me to try and locate the snake. That's when I stepped in a freaking crawfish hole the size of a basketball. It's really amazing that I didn't break my ankle. So when I was tumbling down to the ground I smacked into some stupid limbs from a neighbor's tree, that are so out of control they've grown out far enough to dangle onto our side of the creek only a few feet from the ground.

I scrambled to my feet quickly. My sweaty body now had grass and dirt stuck to it and I was furious at the world. I finished mowing the stupid grass. Then, I got the big clipper things and took out a whole limb of the neighbor's tree - where it dangled onto my property. I took a bunch of dirt and shoved into down the mutant-sized crawfish hole, though it will be a completely wasted effort since we have an infestation of them out here. Then, when the hubs got home, I made him get rid of the stupid compost pile.