2:15am

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately. I can lay in bed, completely exhausted and not fall asleep for hours. It has been so frustrating. I'm not sure what's been causing it, I've never had sleeping problems in my life it just started over the last few months. Then, even once I fall asleep it feels like I wake up every hour or so just to toss and turn uncomfortably before finally falling back asleep. It has not been pleasant. Though, my sleeping problems last night were well justified. I've been having some problems lately with the predictability of my...monthly visitor. It's so frustrating! I've always had such a normal cycle and have always kept up with it on calendars and such. For the last half year or so though, it's just been giving me fits. Not to mention on that first day...the cramping is nearly unbearable. So at 2:15 this morning with excruciating, spasms of cramps that stretched all the way across the lower abdomen from hip to hip, I knew that my visitor had arrived. It was the worst pain I've had in so long. I could barely get out of bed! When I finally made it back to the bedroom I literally folded into the fetal position and was hurting so bad I could not move. I wanted desperately to go and get my little heat bag, but decided the torturous pain that would accompany all of that movement wasn't worth it. I just lay there trying to be as still as I could, talking to God. In those moments I try to be as thankful as possible that I am equipped with all of my parts and the blessings that come from these particular ones; instead of being so negative about my pain during the first day of this monthly event. It usually only lasts for a few hours so I knew it would pass soon. I must of dozed back off at some point, because when I woke back up at 3:30 and the pain was there and coming in stabbing darts I only tried to be thankful for the half hour of sleep I had managed to get in the midst of this. It slowed again and I drifted back into sleep for another half hour and woke again at 4:30. I managed to get up that time and make it - walking all hunched over in a near crawl - to the medicine cabinet and take some pain pills. It was still too much for me to rummage around for the heat pad, so I settled for making it back to the bed. I wondered then why this pain was not easing and why it was lasting so long. When sleep seemed impossible I had another long talk with God and once more drifted into sleep. This time when my eyes popped open the clock read 6:35. I decided trying to sleep again wasn't worth it at this point, so I remained in the fetal position and lay as still as possible. Then the hubby's alarm went off. When he got up I let out a few moans and croaked out my horrible night's adventures in a scratchy, dry voice. My wonderful, amazing, awesome, most appreciated husband hunted down our reusable 'hot n cold' pack (which is by far my preference) spent the tedious time heating it in the microwave in 15 second intervals, kneading it in between and brought it to me wrapped in a towel. Ah, much better. The soothing heat made an immediate difference. My muscles started relax. He rubbed my face and gave me a kiss and went to take a shower urging me to try and get some more sleep. By the time he got out of the shower, not 15 minutes later, I could already stretch all the way back out without too much discomfort. My tummy was grumbling so I decided to go ahead and get up to have breakfast with the hubs. I was moving very slowly. When it was time for him to go to work I decided I might as well tackle my chores for the day. I removed the heat pad and the pain returned almost immediately. So I heated it back up some and stuck it back over the ovaries. I went and sat in a chair and had this overwhelming desire to scream at the pain! Humorous, maybe, but I decided that I could be healed from this. So I cried out to the Lord and claimed authority over the pain. It was almost immediately better at the ending of my prayer. I removed the heat pad again and it still hurt, there are slight little cramps in there but nothing compared to what I have been feeling since 2:15am. I've even been up and about doing dishes and laundry. I'll definitely take it and I give God glory for any and all healing I received this morning!