Whew. I've been hit hard lately with the "When are you going to have a baby?" "Aren't you baby crazy yet" "You need to have a baby!" questions and statements.
Of course you already know my opinions on the topic. Although upon a recent conversation with one the 7 - yes, 7 - pregnant ladies I know I had a new, wonderful realization about my planned timing for when I will have a kid.
It drives me insane that so many people have kids when they aren't ready to have them in so many ways. I suppose I'm not one to judge, I'm just going off of what I think I see. I could be completely wrong. I won't dare make judgments on when someone is emotionally or mentally prepared to have a child, because in my opinion you can never truly be ready for that. You can prepare for it, of course, however it's nothing that you can really be taught or ready to experience and I know that it's a different experience for every individual.
So during one of my recent break down/explanations to someone who had bombarded me with the "why/when" questions pertaining to having a child I gave the normal spill. I just said that I'm still very young and I want to be responsible about it. I've spent four years of my life and a lot of money seeking a degree and I'd like to put it to good use before having a child. Not to mention how awesome my husband has been at financially supporting us for the last year and a half - he stresses so much over finances, working a good few years before having a kid is something that I owe to him. And not just that, but I want to work. I want that experience. Plus, I most definitely don't want to have a baby while we're still paying two mortgages *sigh*.
Cory and I do both want me to be a stay-at-home mommy for as long as I can after having a baby. So to secure that, I'll work until nearly all of our debt is paid off. And, Cory and I do have a handle on that and we can totally accomplish that goal.
I then with great emphasis explained how baby crazy I am. I've always been baby crazy, since I got married - and I got married young. I've shaped my whole life around children and understanding them - my education and my career. I've been especially baby crazy for the last year. I have a burning desire to be a mommy and share a little one with Cory.
My child will have no idea how much I love him/her. Everything that I'm doing right now is so that I can try to secure them the best start in life they can have. I'm already completely in-love with this little person who doesn't even exist yet and the things that I'm doing now are already for him/her.
After saying that last sentence, I had this small realization about how true that was. How...weird it was. I can only imagine the emotions of all my expecting friends if they are even a fraction as much as the ones I anticipate, how amazing this journey must be.
I truly do already love a baby who doesn't exist yet. How much stronger will that be once that baby is growing inside of me? Once I hear his/her heartbeat? Once I see his/her first ultrasound? Once I hold him/her for the first time? Then I totally went all soft about how precious that was!
I know that we aren't planning a pregnancy yet because we're not ready for one and we do have some control over that. God willing I'll plan my pregnancy down to the very day! Haha.
Now, God could have other plans and Cory and I would be able to deal with that and be just as excited. However, we are taking active measures to remain in control over that decision as much as possible ;). And I couldn't be more thankful for the time I've had with just me and my husband. I'm truly thrilled that it just wasn't in the cards for me and Cory to get pregnant immediately after getting married. I've enjoyed the last four years having it be just me and him so much! We've had a blast, we have an awesome marriage, and I have so much fun with him. He was just making fun of me the other day for going into laughing fits all the time. It made me stop and realize how much I do laugh with him. We have our bickering and those rare actual fights, but mostly we just enjoy being together.
We are so blessed. I can't wait for God to bless us with an addition to the family, I do hope it's several more years down the road though.
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